I feel more complicated, than the world. Even if I know, that is impossible.
But that is the feeling, following me, everywhere I go.
It makes it easy to understand, and explain everything else, that isn´t me.
Simpler in a way. Because I can´t really get a complete picture of myself.
Not without a lot of contradictions. I´m a lot more than my own opposite allows me to be.
Like I am made of all the pieces to more than a million different puzzles.
That needs to become only one picture.
Can only give crumbs when I try to explain myself.
In every argument I have to make a choice, about which belief I will give room to, this time.
Because I believe in contradictions. In both helping and forcing, people to evolve.
All the time, I must feel, what is right, this one time
Knowing that I would trap myself if I choose to be only one version, of all my living possibilities.
More like all the worlds water, than one single statue of stone.
Changing faster than every breath I take. Live as if I am more, than one single truth.
Have no way of truly expressing more than one perspective at a
time, even if they all exist, parallel to each other, within me.
Believe in many different truths, about the world. Describing just one,
tend to make it next to impossible to present another, as a parallel truth.
Too much goes against, what I already tried to explain. Unfinished must ideas be presented, if more than one idea truly gets time, in communication, from myself.
Can´t really argue against myself, when I talk, without seeming mad.
Sometimes, I believe in both opposite extremes, without really liking, the middle ground, others walk.
Everything must be judged, on a case-to-case basis. Seems impossible to see all parts of my inner equations, that makes my decisions.
Because even I, can´t see the whole picture, of what is me. Forget parts of myself, all the time. Impossible to remember, what isn´t related, to my own now.
Maybe I just can´t see, all the worlds’ depths, as well as my own. And
that is the reason, why I feel more complicated than our world.
By: Fatima Drott
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